Long Distance Relationships

Suck. That is the very first thing that comes to mind when thinking about those three words. I am in one currently but it will only be long distance for another year or so. It is rough but I am in love with her and we are committed to each other.

For those who want to know how to make them work, well I may disappoint you. Long distance relationships are not for everyone or every relationship. It takes patience from both people in the relationship and a commitment to each other. There needs to be trust as well as honesty. My fiancee pretty much knows what I am up to at any given point in my day and not because she asks but because I want her to know and feel comfortable that I am her's. You can have secrets and plans but they cannot be things that you are not willing to share with them at some point (for example when planning a date or a surprise for them for a visit or present). Another key ingredient is communication. The advantage of being in a long distance relationship in this current time is that social media and other advance in the internet make it easy to stay in touch. You do not necessarily need to be in contact with each other as much as my fiancee and I are but talking to each other everyday is important. I would recommend either skyping for a bit everyday or a phone call. There is so much more that can be conveyed by your voice that a text cannot provide. Set aside time once or more a week just for the two of you to have a "date" together. Whenever my fiancee is on her own for dinner I try to be sure that I can be there to skype and have dinner with her. We also watch the same TV show together or play online games together. Do little things to help keep the relationship going. Another aspect of being honest means being honest when something they are doing is making you uncomfortable (I am not the greatest about this). Be sure to have an open conversation about boundaries with each other. When you do get to spend time physically with each other be sure that you have both time alone with each other as well as with others. The alone time is important for the obvious reasons as well as allowing you to just enjoy the closeness of the other person. Being around others as a couple helps foster both independence and interdependence as well as helping to continue to get to know each other better.

Long distance relationships do suck but they have rewards if you stick through them. If the relationship lasts  through the distance then it has grown and become fairly strong. It also makes it easier later on in life if there is a need for one person to be away for any amount of time. The biggest reward in the end is the appreciation that you have gained for the closeness of that other person. Every single touch, kiss, and moment is that much sweeter because of the times you had missed having it.