The loss of the Southern Gentleman

This may not be a surprise to some, the majority of Florida is not truly a part of the South. Now that I have lived in Miami for nearly a year I can say with near certainty that the culture here does not lend itself to the idea of the Southern Gentleman. In fact the evolving culture of the U.S. in general is moving away from the idea of the gentleman.

Popular culture dictates that women should want men who are bad and degrading and the male population is moving steadily toward that. It breaks my heart when I hear men (mostly of a younger age) say that they "want bitches" and that women "just want the d." However, it is funny because those same guys will turn around to their boys when a girl leaves them or puts them in the "friendzone" and that girls/women keep complaining about their exes being "assholes" and that they want a nice guy but then pass them over. If you were a nice guy you would speak about women in a respectful way no matter who your audience is.

I also read an article recently about a study done on men and women in the U.S. dealing with how they perceive relationships. Overall more men wanted physical relationships over romance and when asked what their current or most recent relationship needed more of the majority said sex. Where is the romance and other affection? That same study also said that women really want men to ask them out on an actual date, not a "group hang" or something non-commital. A date where the guy plans out the activities, like dinner here and then a movie followed by ice cream in the park. It is pretty sad when the very basic thing of just asking a women out is something that they feel is a top need for bringing more romance into things.

It doesn't take much effort to be gentlemanly. Really all you need to do is be mindful of how you speak to and about people, do the simple kind things like holding the door open for someone or thanking them when they hand you something or let you through, etc. Being a gentleman doesn't require someone to go out of their way to do extravagant things. In a romantic relationship it could be something as simple as opening the car door for your partner, pick them some flowers, make a couple sandwiches and put together a super simple picnic. Most of all being a gentleman is about being respectful and kind to others. I personally also believe that by being a gentleman you gain good karma and if you don't believe in karma then being a gentleman will make you feel better.

So as the Southern Gentleman becomes increasingly rare it is important to acknowledge those that are being gentleman from any region and encourage them. From a gentleman to another when you treat others with respect, your whole life reaches another level of fulfillment.